Wiffle Lever To Full!

Daleks, Death Stars and Dreamy Sci-Fi Nostalgia…

Extracts from Bob’s 1984 Diary… Volume 333

Wednesday 28th November 1984

I got up at 8.00, and at 8.30 Doug came. At 8.45 we went to school, and first it was Art. Next came History, followed by maths. At 12.00 I had my dinner, and when we got in it was French.

After that was English, and after that Science. I came home at the usual time. At 5.00 I had tea, and I watched the Box of Delights. Then I played out till Sharon and Elsie a n d     a t     8  . 0 0    I watched Dallas.

At 8.45 I watched Points of View, and          at        9.00        I

went

 

                  to

 

           bed.

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET!!! Yep, that’s a 100% accurate reconstruction (created with the aid of Butterscotch Angel Delight and a Nik Kershaw LP) of my diary entry from 25 years ago today. Clearly already bored with the decadent thrills of making my handwriting virtually indecipherable (see yesterday’s blog) I’d now decided to experiment with avant-garde spacing…


Any more of this, and my parents would be calling in social services. Or, as my Mum used to warn me repeatedly during my childhood ‘If you don’t behave, I’ll call the Children’s Home and a man will come to take you away’. I think the last time she tried this was in 1998, when I came back from a night out in the Union Arms with Gaz Norman.

Anyway, classic literature in English today, so I’ll have been bored out of my tiny mind…

Wednesday 28th November, 1984
‘Jayne Eyre’ by Charlotte Bronte

1. The hardships that pupils at Lowood School had to endure are:
I Freezing cold bedrooms
II Small portions at mealtime
III Being put at the bottom of the class for no reason
IV Having to stand exactly as the teachers want you to
V Being beaten because they were not properly clean

Where were the spaceships??? Where were the robots??? Where were the three wise-cracking US comedians fighting giant Marshmallow Men with sizzling streams of concentrated energy? Anyway, if the girls of Lowood School thought they had it bad, they should have tried playing rugby with a Wham Bar-fuelled Stephen Mason.   

And in science, we were still looking intently at worms. I can still remember, back at Levendale Primary School, the vile Christopher Herbert attempting to convince me that ‘The Water Cycle’ (that old school staple) was actually an exotic mode of aquatic transport used by James Bond in the opening sequence to ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’. I came within a whisker of drawing a diagram of it, and handing it into Mr Hirst.

I dread to think what the foul Herbert would have made of the Worm Cycle…


He’d probably have been pretty distressed. Worms weren’t just his closest and noblest friends, they also seemed to form a sizeable portion of his daily diet.

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2 Comments»

  Fiona Tims wrote @

“V Being beaten because they were not properly clean”

Because what wasn’t properly cleaned??

I always messed around with my handwriting too-it still looks like crap!

  bobfischer wrote @

I’ve discovered recently I can’t really write by hand any more! Apart from the odd shopping list and envelope, I haven’t really written anything by hand for about 15 years. The curse of the computer keyboard!


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