Friday 22nd June 1984
Woke up at 7.50 and got up at 8.10. First at school it was maths groups, so I did maths till 10.30, when we had our photo taken. Then we went out and played cricket, and when we came in I did some more of my Indiana Jones story.
Had dinner at 12.00, then did topic at 3.15, when I came home. I went to Doug’s, and we went to the mud track and met Placie, Stan, Horsey and Tucker. We went along the river, then back home. I had tea, and at 5.15 I watched Different Strokes.
Went out at 5.45 till 6.45, when me, Dad, Poggy Doggy and Poggy II went on the field. Came back at 7.30 and watched Simon & Simon, and at 8.30 I watched Time of your life. Went to bed at 9.00.
School photo day! The only time in my seven years at Levendale Primary School that the entire school year (plus selected teachers) was shepherded outside and made to pose for a happy, jolly group picture. On a warm but decidedly grey day (rather like today, actually) we assembled at the edge of the school field, with a couple of blue foam mats from the PE cupboard on the ground (must have been raining overnight) and the usual cheeky school photographer chortling and calling us an ‘orrible lot’.
He always reminded me a bit of Jack from On The Buses – unlike our ACTUAL school bus driver, who was more like Mr MacKay from Porridge. Clearly something of a mix-up in the school’s strictly out-of-bounds Sitcom Character cupboard (kept in a corner of the Amazingly Hairy Mr Chalkley’s office, next to the stocks and thumbscrews)
And, exactly 25 years on, here’s the resulting picture…
Obviously it might be worth you clicking on this link here to find a bigger version! Lots of the ‘orrible lot’ mentioned in my diary are featured, mainly – if I’m honest – in the back row. Here you go, your bluffers guide to the 1984 Class Picture…
TEACHERS…
On the far left, in the burgundy ensemble, is the utterly lovely piano wizard Mrs Gwen ‘Cross over the road, my friend’ Mulhern, and next to her – a vision in lilac – is my long-suffering form teacher Mrs Keasey, looking suitably relieved that my stint at Levendale was coming to a close, and she’d no longer have to spend her evenings marking 32-page sci-fi epics written in Berol Notewriter pen and illustrated with felt-tip drawings of robots and spaceships that invariably made the writing on the other side of the page even more difficult to decipher.
On the right-hand side we’ve got the mighty Mr Millward, of course, being unceremoniously shoved out of the way by Mrs Baldwin, about whom rumours that she’d ‘given up a million-pound modellin’ career to be a teacher, swear down, it’s true’ were rife amongst a few hot-collared male members of the Fourth Year Juniors.
KIDS…
The back row is a fine array of ‘The Usual Suspects’ from my 1984 Diary. From the left… Phil ‘Slackie’ Slack, Simon ‘Mally’ Malyon (who I didn’t know very well, hence his absence from my diary!), Andrew ‘Sug’ Sugden, Tim ‘Scottie’ Scott, Doug, Paul ‘Huggy’ Huggins, Paul ‘Wacky’ Whitehead, Gareth ‘Gazzie’ Jones, James ‘Placie’ Place, Jo ‘Spaynie’ Spayne and Graham ‘Ramsey’ Ramsey. Fabulous to see such a fine array of 1980s haircuts on display, particularly amongst the boys that had patriotically grown their own bearskin hats for the recent Trooping Of The Colour.
In the middle row, on the far left is Ian ‘Ozzie’ Oswald (no doubt with The Warlock Of Firetop Mountain’ still in his back pocket) and on the far right is Paul ‘Clarkie’ Clarke, looking relieved at finally having gained a photo on this website that doesn’t feature him sitting on a park bench in Whitby in 1983.
Oh go on then, for old time’s sake…
In the middle, well… girls, frankly. I hardly wrote anything about girls in 1984, because I didn’t speak to them and didn’t understand them. And a succession of girlfriends (including the current, long-suffering one) will no doubt testify that precious little has changed in the intervening 25 years. But hello to Joanne Oxley (long blonde hair, standing up in the blue top) who I know reads this, and has fond memories of organising a special ‘Duran Duran’ table at Levendale, from which occasional volleys of rubbers and Shatterproof rulers would occasionally be launched at passing Spandau Ballet fans.
Wendy Brunskill, the most frequent willing victim of Doug and I’s barbed wit (and yegods, she gave as good as she got) is third from the right in the standy-uppy-row, sporting the Princess Diana hairdo and the pale green ensemble. And Janet Haigh, who I think looks in here from time to time, is sitting down in the row in front, second from the left, wearing pink. Hello!
I’m kneeling in the middle of the front row, looking cheeky in my pale grey zip-up jacket and that OMINPRESENT BLOODY BLACK SHIRT that my Dad frequently complained made look ‘like Oswald bloody Moseley’ (a reference that went a bit over my 11-year-old head)
In the same row are (left to right) Paul ‘Frankie’ Frank, Andrew ‘Roy’ Harding, Andrew ‘Stan’ Henry and Karl Tweddall, who I always seem to think was in the year below us, but clearly wasn’t… unless he’d just sneaked into the picture without anyone noticing.
NOTICEABLE ABSENTEES (who clearly sneaked OUT without anyone noticing)
1. MR HIRST!!! Where was he? We played cricket straight afterwards, so undoubtedly he was around on this day. I can only assume there was some IMPORTANT BUSINESS to attend to in the staff room (and not the second day of the second test match between England and the West Indies, oh no, absolutely not, hell no, nope, no way) and he VERY RELUCTANTLY had to excuse himself from proceedings. He was probably busy planning our Third Year Junior’s annual high wire walk across the highest part of the Grand Canyon.
2. Stephen ‘Mason’ Mason! No doubt at home, drinking Lucozade in front of ‘Pebble Mill at One’ and moaning softly that ‘I’m starting to feel a little bit better now’ while pushing himself up against the radiator to make sure his temperature was at the required level. Ditto regular blog contributor Chris Byers! Where were you Chris? Come on, did you skive it? The time is right for a confession!
3. Christopher Herbert. Even in 1984, rudimentary Health and Safety requirements prevented the odious Herbert from being placed in such close proximity to members of the public. I think he spent the day locked in his ‘special room’ while Mrs Powell pushed Cheesy Wotsits through the grille in the reinforced door.
A great picture anyway, and one that instantly melts away the intervening 25 years. If I had the time, energy and organisational skills, I’d love to organise a reunion version of it! And if anyone’s on there and would like to say hello, please do… it’d be lovely.
Wiffle Lever To Full! 
Woo hoo, I’m famous, got a mention in a blog – thanks Bob. I have good memories of all the clothes I used to wear at Levendale, not having a school uniform was great, but I’m not sure where the hell that blue thing came from! It certainly didn’t come from my highly stylish wardrobe. It must have been something my mum put me in to try and make me look half decent for the photo! I expect I’ve got some lovely sandals on too! Out of school it was Geordie Jeans all the time. Look at all those jolly faces, what memories. Perhaps it was only me but I was in Mrs Baldwin’s tutor group and I thought she was evil – dribs and drabs was her favourite saying! She looks so nice – it’s so weird seeing things from an adult perspective now, no wonder my parents wondered what I was going on about.