Wiffle Lever To Full!

Daleks, Death Stars and Dreamy Sci-Fi Nostalgia…

Extracts from Bob’s 1984 Diary… Volume 138

Thursday 17th May 1984

Same as yesterday till I got to school then we had to do two entirely different people. I did Phil Less and A. Fraid, then painted them. Had dinner at 12.00, then I played Bulldogs.

Finished my poster and read all afternoon, then I typed when I came home. After tea I typed again and at 7.30 I watched Top of the pops. Had supper, then at 8.5 I watched Porridge. Went to bed at 9.10 after watching We got it made.

Do you get the impression I was getting just a teensy-weensy bit bored with writing a diary by this point? Don’t worry, this is a bit of a low point and it soon perks up again. I remember Phil Less and A. Fraid, though – when I say we had to ‘do two entirely different people’ I mean that we had to invent two characters whose personalities were opposite to each other, then create pictures and a bit of handwritten spiel about them both.

Me being a clever swine, I tried to play with puns and created Phil Less (‘Fearless’, in case the sledgehammer wit doesn’t quite strike true) and, erm, A. Fraid. I’m a bit disappointed with myself that I had to resort to using an initial for this, but I’ve now spent the last ten minutes trying to think of a hilarious punworthy name for someone who’s scared of everything, and I’ve failed miserably. Anyone else who fancies giving it a go, feel free.


Phil Less was, naturally, a big hulking brute of a Barbarian carrying a giant broadsword at such at angle that Paul Frank, and I’m quoting directly here, said ‘it looks like he’s got the biggest knob in the world’.

A. Fraid was a quivering, pale-faced wreck of a man… was probably wasn’t surprising, considering what his opposite number was waving in his face.

Another round of British Bulldogs, so there’ll have been more teeth and grazed flesh dotted around the Levendale Primary School playground by the end of our dinner hour. And, oddly, writing this sentence has just reminded me of a young lad called Sven who turned up at our school around this time. Sven was German (despite surely having a Scandinavian name?) and was a tiny lad with a mop of blindingly white hair and little, round John Lennon-style glasses. 


He used to gamely join in with our round of British Bulldogs (and, I’m slightly ashamed to report, if he was pulled to the ground we’d invariably accompany it with a Warlord comic-inspired cry of ‘ACHTUNG!!!’ or ‘GOTT IN HIMMEL!”), and he also had a wobbly tooth.   

Amazingly, this didn’t came about as a direct result of being hauled to the gravelly concrete of our playground by an unruly mob of 11-year-old nutters shouting ‘SCHNELL! SCHNELL!’, but he was happy to show it to anyone who asked. It was on his bottom row of teeth, was virtually hanging off by a single thread, and he would happily flick it back and forth with his finger before popping it back into place and grinning maniacally.

They do things differently on the continent.

Top Of The Pops was presented by the beautiful Radio 1 tag-team of Simon Bates and Peter Powell, and featured the following top turns…

• Break Machine – Break Dance Party [Performance]
• Deniece Williams – Lets Hear It For The Boy [Performance]
• Duran Duran – The Re-Flex [Performance]
• Hazel Dean – Searchin’ (I Gotta Find A Man) [Performance]
• Marillion – Assassin [Promo Video]
• Ultravox – Dancing With Tears In My Eyes [Promo Video]
• Womack & Womack – Love Wars [Performance]

Dancing With Tears In My Eyes was a particular favourite at the time, not least for the video which seemed to show a) Midge Ure in charge of a nuclear power reactor, and b) a cataclysmic nuclear explosion that doesn’t actually do THAT much damage to a portable TV and a bunch of flowers in a vase. Quite a reassuring sight at the height of the Cold War.

And I can’t believe I watched American sitcom ‘We Got It Made’ AGAIN, as I STILL can’t recall anything whatsoever about it. It must have been the TV equivalent of All-Bran… straight in and out of me without making any impression whatsoever. Not that I ever ate All-Bran in 1984 of course, it’s much more likely that my supper consisted of porridge in front of Porridge.

Good job I wasn’t watching Last of the Summer Wine, I’d have been sick all over my Star Wars slippers.

NB Nice to see a few old Levendalers discovering these ramblings… a quick hello to my old school chum Chris Byers, who has started posting here, and to Tom Stainer, who has made a sensational confession about his Road Safety poster on this entry here! This one could run and run…



  Fiona Tims wrote @

I still love ‘Dancing with tears in my eyes’
Not that you wanted to know ;p

  Terry Fyde wrote @

Thanks very much for the rundown of what was on TOTP that night. I love this kind of detail, it brings it all flooding back.

I’m afraid your made-up name for a scared person isn’t very good though!
Terry Fyde

  bobfischer wrote @

🙂 No one likes a smartarse.

  Justin wrote @

Nice to see the TotP rundown but, being another anally retentive type, I must point out the Marillion song was ‘Assassing’… though I asume not the full 7 minute album version!

Oh, what about Ann Shuss?

  bobfischer wrote @

Ooops, thankyou for that! I don’t know much about Marillion, although I’ve always thought that Caylee was a great single. 😉

Thankyou for humiliating me further with Ann Shuss. Although it did strike me this morning that Terry Fyde might have a sister called Petra.

  Bree King-Hitt wrote @

This is all getting rather ridiculous now!

  bobfischer wrote @

I’m now racking my brains to work out whether Bree King-Hitt is a minor Jedi Knight in one of the Star Wars prequels…

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