The drains are fixed! Just as I was anticipating shelling out thousands of pounds to have the drive dug up, the drains relaid and the drive put back, two nice men from Dyno-Rod turned up and sorted the lot with the aid of a big stick. £109.50, which I’m viewing as a considerable let-off.
Just walked across the landing and stuck two fingers up at Woolly Will Scarlett on the way. He looked peeved.
I’ll probably pay for my insolence tonight when the gas boiler explodes.
Wiffle Lever To Full! 
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